Rx

Exactly one month ago, around the start of the YLA, I started Rxing! I looked back today in my little notebook where I track my WODs, and I kept seeing those two letters pop up every couple of days.
I still can't believe it. I remember looking at the Rx weight from a fresh-out-of-on-ramp perspective. It used to be so BIG and HEAVY and far-reaching in my eyes.

Some days I feel so strong, but other days, I feel like that girl who walked into the box a year and a half ago, the one who could barely lift a 33 lb bar.

Some days I completely surprise myself. I look at the website or the whiteboard and think, how the hell am i gonna finish this workout? let alone at that weight?

I still doubt myself. I step up to the bar, shins touching metal, and I freak for a second. I shake my head and think, you gotta be kidding me! i can't even lift this shit off the ground.

But then I do. And I do it as best I can. And I finish.
I'm still in that early stage though where my inner monologue sounds a little like this...
I don't think I can sustain that weight the whole time. I mean... I guess I'll try it. If I fail, at least I tried. But...I don't know for sure.

It's that kind of doubt where maybe it's a good thing. I don't talk myself out of it. I just go for it. I get it done. But I'm still cautious.

I'm getting out of a few bad (bad for me) habits though.

I used to:
A) only grab a 33 lb bar
B) always grab extra, lighter plates (just in case I needed to drop the weight)

These were my mental buffers. A 33 lb bar sounded a lot more manageable than a 45 lb bar, even though I was doing 2 lbs less than the Rx. Psychologically, it seemed easier to me.
The lighter plates were my safety net. I may not have used them during the workout but just having them there made me feel better.

Today, I went into Fran thinking, I own this bitch. 65 lbs? Ha! I got this.

She humbled me big time. I got the first round done in less than 6 minutes (5:54... sigh). But omg. It hurt. For the second round of Fran, I cut back, not on weight but on reps (18-12-8). It was really rough. I'm glad I stuck with the weight, but it pushed me hard.